[x]

Already DeadI sit on the ground,
And steady my head.
It doesn't really matter.
I'm already dead.

I turn my arm up,
About to begin.
The voices are silenced
As the blade digs in.

First there's a pinch
Then the blood starts to explore.
Forming little red beads,
It soon starts to pour.

I laugh at the sight.
My arm starts to burn.
The monsters inside are dying,
And they start to squirm.

The feeling goes away.
There's a pounding in my head.
There's no hope for me.
I'm already dead.

If I DiedWhat would you do if I died tomorrow?
Would you sit there and weep and sorrow?
Would you simply waste away the day?
Or would you tell yourself it would be okay?
Would you hold a picture of me close to your chest?
Or would you come and see me to pay your respect?
Would you listen to a song that brought me to mind?
Or would you go out and comit a crime?
Would you try your best to go on with life?
Or in grief, slit your wrist with a knife?
Would you light a candle every year on the day I died?
Or would you simply say "I miss you, and I wish you were here by my side"?

Perfectly YouSee that blemish on your face,
Everyone tells you to erase,
While you're on the brink,
That blemish is your own grace.

See that bend in your stance,
Noticeable with just one glance,
Heal it, they say,
Make it go away,
But you carry in with your prance.

See that frizz in your hair,
The one that makes people stare,
"look at that awful mane,
Walking around she looks insane!"
But this is the only style you can bear.

See the extra fat in your thighs,
Where all the food you eat lies,
They tell you to lose that weight,
Then you'll start to look great,
but here you're content with your size.

See the strength that you have within,

How are you?"Hey! How are you?"

I'm bad,
Tired,
Hurt,
Depressed,
Alone,
Stressed,
Regretful,
Disconcerting,
Frozen to the core,
Broken,
Ready to cry some more,
Lonely,
Crushed,
Cold,
Life is just rushed...
Defeated,
In so much pain,
Feeling cheated,
Life has no gain,
Not good enough,
Worthless,
Life is just so rough,
A failure,
No one could care less,
Sorry for complaining so much,
Sorry for being selfish and such,

"I'm fine, thanks for asking! And how are you?"

Darkest Nights"Darkest Nights"

I'm looking out the window
Through the blinds and the shades
Waiting patiently for your return
But you won't be coming home today

Meanwhile these shadows
Continue haunting me
They've tried to snatch my soul
And bury it in the deep

Because the sun has gone down
This room has grown black
But it seems darker than normal
I want the light to come back

In fact this room is so dark
My body is starting to tremble
The shadows are reaching out
My nerves may disassemble

The absence of light
Enhances the echos of sound
I'm finding strength in silence
As I sink into the ground

So instead I close my eyes
Pretending I'm not here
Or r

Feet together, Thighs apartForget disorder
I'm disorderly me
I remember to weigh
But not what to eat
My mother cries
But she just doesn't get it
In the fridge monsters wait
With their lights that are dim lit
The pantry an accomplice
Double teaming with malice
Mother set my demise
China plates and golden chalice
I cannot consume that
I scream and scream
But mother just leaves me
To wail and to dream
Of a life she calls happy
Of a life I call fat
She's met by lies and smiles
And a gentleman's tipped hat
I'm met with lies too
But I choose to believe
They say I'll regret this
Well where's my reprieve?
There's no need to question
The life I'll

BrokenForget the hopes that shattered,
In the midst of your despair.
Forget the world that mattered,
To the people who seem to "care".

Regret the actions you've taken,
And wish for an endless lie.
Regret the souls you have shaken,
When your heart of black did cry.

Weep for the hopeful,
And hopeless.

Forget the world that shattered
You into a million pieces.
Forget the hope that prospered,
Somehow in the creases.

Regret the souls you took away,
Dream for everlasting guilt.
Regret the actions you may
Have inflicted to the world you built.

Weep for the loved,
And loveless.

PainWords unspoken
Kept inside
Heart once broken
Eyes wide open

Emotions gone
No more feelings
Stuck alone
Always grieving

Pretty messed up
Pain forever
It won't stop
Will it ever?

Hello my friendHello my friend

I'm sitting
Alone on my bed
yet again
Thoughts of you
clouding each memory
I have ever had
We were so good together
Sighing I began
Cleaning the box
Of things I have
That remind me of you
The tears begin
rolling down my cheeks
Stinging my cheeks
Ripping at my heart
I can take it no longer
I reach in my drawer
And take out my silver friend
I haven't used you in so long
You must be lonely
I slowly move you
Causing you to shine
In the Florescent lighting
You've taken my pain before
Why not again
I slide you against my wrist
Scarlet appears
Causing a smile to form
He made pain appear
You made it go aw

I can'tI want to
I need to
I have to

But I can't
Because somebody might open the door
and see...

the empty abyss in my heartJournal Entry: Thu Jan 10, 2013, 1:01 PM
I'm feeling alone,
like there is no one around me.
I am lost in an empty dark void in my heart,
the spot where I lost what was the closest to me.
As I journey deeper into my heart,
I see the scars and the stitches,
the bruises and the missing pieces.
It is lonely an dark,
in this place I call my heart.
Is there anyone or anything that can heal me?

SilenceThere is no doubt she's coming for me.
The eerie silence is deafening.
Her footsteps,loud, drawing near,
I muffle my cries.
I run off into the blood red dawn.
I feel her presence.
I can feel her dreaming of me,
Falling to my death.

She finds me,
Coming closer.
Inside my head
I'm screaming nd trying to run.
I find myself frozen in place.
She draws a knife,
Piercing into my side.
She kills me slowly, letting the blood drip.
My feet, soaking in blood,
I begin to fall onto the cold ground.
Immense pain clouds my thoughts.

Suddenly, I'm staring into a mirror.
There is a girl clutching a knife
Her eyes meet mine,
They

Who I AmI took a knife,
To my skin today,
To see if I could wash away,
All the horrid things I've done.
Wash it all away,
With drops of blood.
I took a knife,
To my skin today.
I want to give my soul away.
I'm selling,
The very essence of me.
I don't value it, you see.
My favorite sin,
Is blade against skin.
Just the slightest pressure,
Is my release.
But this release,
Does not make me weak.
This release makes me,
Me.

Please stop...It hurts so much.
More than I can take.

Tears spill from my eyes,
stream down my face.

As I realize the truth,
the whole truth.

My tears know no end,
and only come at night.

You renew the pain everyday,
rip the wounds open.

You make me cry,
make me break down.

But you don't realize,
you don't know.

You hurt me again and again,
over and over.

Could you please stop?
Please?

I cannot take it.
Not anymore.

My heart and soul are already broken.
Torn into little pieces.

Please don't hurt me so much.
Don't rip apart my leftovers.

I cannot take it.
Please stop.

Please?

Hello, Hello?Hello, Hello?

Are you there?
You seem to listen;
You seem to care;
You always seem to be there.

I don't deserve you
'cause I'm not there for you,
Though I wish I could be.

You deserve better, but please
Let me be there for you;
Care for you;
Listen to you

Though I don't deserve it,
Please forgive me again.
I'll try to be there for you
Like you're there for me.

Hello, Hello?

I Love You.

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More from ~thechosenonee1

Girl with the ScarsI am the happy one, who likes to have fun.

I am the hyper, crazy one, who might randomly laugh.

I am the defiant one, who would never follow the rules.

I am the one with the scars and their secrets.

I am the messed up one, who thinks no one cares.

I am the helpless one, who can’t change her past.

I am the hurt one, but much more hurt on the inside.

I am the one with the scars, and their angry message is a reminder of my weakness.

I am the strong one, who is determined to survive.

I am the dreamer, who imagines a different life, imagines a time when pain was only a distant memory.

I am the childlike one, who remembers when ther

ADDICTEDI am addicted.

I am addicted to Hiding.

In my addiction, betrayal comes in the form of fakes.

In my addiction, I struggle to reveal myself.

I am addicted.

I am addicted to self-harm.

In my addiction, I am hiding my scars.

In my addiction, I’m in a constant battle with my razor blade.

I am addicted.

Don'tDon't Cry,
On this day,
For you're special in every way.

Don't be Alone.
There's people who care,
Even in your despair.

Don't think,
For the monsters of reality will roam;
You'll remember the place you call home.

Don't Change,
You are unique;
You are you;
And I wouldn't change a thing.

Hello, Hello?Hello, Hello?

Are you there?
You seem to listen;
You seem to care;
You always seem to be there.

I don't deserve you
'cause I'm not there for you,
Though I wish I could be.

You deserve better, but please
Let me be there for you;
Care for you;
Listen to you

Though I don't deserve it,
Please forgive me again.
I'll try to be there for you
Like you're there for me.

Hello, Hello?

I Love You.

Dearest friendDearest friend,

I hope this finds you well.
I know you've been through hell.
But today is special.
For a special person like you.

You who saved my life
So many times.
You who makes me smile.
You who makes me hang on for awhile.

I'll never forget you,
Wherever you may be.
Just know that you will always have me.
And I will always be there for you.

Whenever you fall,
I'll pick you up.
Whenever you feel worthless,
I'll tell you how truly amazing you are.

You Say you're not good enough,
But how could that be?
Because you are truly perfect to me
And always will be.

I love you, dear friend.
Forever til the end.
For you're perfect to m

Who Knew?From warm and sweet
To cold and bitter,

Who knew things would change so fast?

His love for her would forever last,
Though her time was soon to pass.

Who knew things would change so fast?

Two choices she had,
To stay pure as a dove or to be with the one she loved.

Who knew things would change so fast?

Ignorant of the truth behind his words,
She's now in a hearse.

Who knew things would change so fast?

Betrayed by his own father,
Nathan was really bothered.

Who knew things would change so fast?

Ready to destroy any who took part,
Plotting revenge was soon to start.

Who knew things would change so fast?

With his army of the undead,
H

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Just Another Scar

by ~thechosenonee1, Jan 20, 2013, 11:20:59 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I deserve it.
Every single infliction.
Every single slit.
My secret addiction.

Worthless.
I'm trapped, wanting to be free,
My flaws, my helplessness,
Nothing's good in me.

I'm a bad person.
I don't try to be.
But everything just seems to worsen,
I'm a failure, can't you see?

Blade against skin,
Blood against wrist.
The cut ever so thin.
Tears I must resist.

A bit too deep, I've gone too far.
Another sin confessed.
It's just another scar.
Just another scar to add to the rest.

Just Another Scarby ~thechosenonee1

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2013 ~thechosenonee1

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Mood: Shocked

~TheRealMe1996 Apr 15, 2013 Hobbyist Photographer

dear god. you've written my life in everything i've read.

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~thechosenonee1 Apr 15, 2013 Student Writer

I'm glad you can relate to my writings

Reply

Mood: Joy

~TheRealMe1996 Apr 15, 2013 Hobbyist Photographer

i honestly don't know what to say to that lol

Reply

~ZombieQueen368 Feb 28, 2013 Student Filmographer

I've got many of em

Reply

~RumpleInk Jan 25, 2013

Well done. I feel the very same way

Reply

~stealthyninja21 Jan 24, 2013 Student General Artist

T-T I know how it feels

Reply

*Darvia123 Jan 21, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I can relate...

Reply

~Kay-xP-J14 Jan 21, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

I can relate to this so much!

Reply

~6-9Changeling Jan 21, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Reply

~thechosenonee1 Jan 21, 2013 Student Writer

Thanks

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